Time
by RosalineC
Summary: There was supposed to be more time, but as some of us know, there is never enough.


**Disclaimer: Even Marlowe wouldn't do what I'm about to.**  
**A/N: I have never been so nervous to post a story before. **  
**The only way I can explain this one is mixing no sleep, reading depressing fics, drinking too much coffee, and being on a angst kick due to finishing my story **_**A Story Like Yours. **_  
**Takes place in season four but no secrets have been revealed. **  
**~Rose**

* * *

The clock seemed to stop and time stood still. Time. Damn time; there was never enough time. Her whole world had come crashing down around her but the clock didn't care. Time. She thought there was more time. There was supposed to be more time...  
She thought back to the day that her world fell apart only three short months ago. The day time started running out.  
_"I'm sorry Mr. Castle," Dr. Jones told him sympathetically, "The cancer has spread throughout your body; you have three months." _  
_Three months. Only three months. That wasn't enough time; never enough time._  
_Rick somehow managed to keep it together until he got home. Alexis was at Stanford for another week or so until she finished her exams and he had sent his mother off on a spa weekend. He was glad they weren't there; he needed to be alone. They had been with him a month ago when he found out he had cancer but now, he didn't know how he was going to tell them it had spread so quickly. _  
_Then there was Kate..._  
_He still hadn't told Kate that he had cancer. How was he supposed to tell her that he was dying?_  
_He loved her so much. Now he wished that he had told her other than the time when she was dying in his arms with a bullet in her chest. He thought him and Kate could have a life together; he thought he had all the time in the world to wait for her. There was never enough time._  
_He had tried to pull away in the last month just in case something like this was to happen. He didn't want to fall more and more in love with her when he secretly knew he was just going to be leaving her. He didn't want her to fall in love with him either. He was supposed to be starting chemo fairly soon but now that the cancer had spread it was a whole new story. He couldn't wait any longer; he had to Kate about all of this. Tonight._  
_There was no time. As_ _quickly as time would run out, he couldn't do anything right now. For now Castle let it all overcome him as the tears managed to spill out of his tightly closed eyelids._  
_"What's up Castle?" Kate asked when she got to Rick's loft later that day. She had been so concerned about him lately, that her heart had leaped into her throat when she got his text asking her to come over. He had been acting so _strangely_. She didn't know what to do; he clearly hadn't wanted to talk to her so she didn't push. _  
_"Kate..." he said, his voice low and pained. She could see the emotions in his eyes and it worried her. He grabbed her hand and led her over to his couch. "Kate," he said again softly, "I... I'm... I don't know how to say this." He struggled to find words. He couldn't tell her, but he had to_; _there was no time._  
_"What's wrong Castle?" She could see such pain in is eyes and she squeezed his hand—which she hadn't let go of yet—and pleaded him to continue with her eyes. "What's wrong Rick?"_  
_He took his free hand and lightly stroked her cheek before finding her other hand and squeezed them both lightly. "Kate, I know you probably aren't ready to hear this but I love you." She was ready; she had never been surer of anything. She wanted to lean forward and kiss him before reciprocating his words, but she could tell he had more to say so she let him talk. "I love you Kate. I thought we had time. Time for you to be ready. I was willing to wait as long as you needed." Kate was in denial of what Rick was trying to tell her. She tried to find words to respond but Castle lightly placed his finger over her lips. "Let me finish Kate. Kate, I..." Yet again he struggled to find the words that would crush them both. She already seemed to know what was coming though as she started to pale. "I'm dying," he said in barely a whisper. Confused, almost angry tears welled up in her eyes. "Cancer," he said by way of explanation, "It started as a tumor and has now spread to my vital organs. I have three months."_  
_She couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't happening. This had to be a dream. Kate sat there in shock for a moment before letting out a sob. She wanted to be strong but she just couldn't. "Rick..." Her body starting shaking with her sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and let her sob into his chest. "Please tell me this isn't real," she begged._  
_Saying that Rick felt distraught over causing the woman he loves to look so broken was an understatement. "I'm so sorry Kate," he breathed, also crying now, "I wish it wasn't."_  
_Kate choked out another sob. The man she loved was dying and she hadn't told him she loved him yet. Rick was a good man; so full of joy, and life, and love. He couldn't be dying. He just couldn't. "You can't leave me Rick. I... Rick... You can't leave me; I love you too much."_  
_Rick's chest swelled with even more emotion as she said those words. He loved her so much and now that he knew she felt the same way, leaving her would be all that much harder now. The tears were glistening in her hazel eyes and he pulled her closer to him again. He stroked her hair—his own tears falling onto her head—while she returned to sobbing and hyperventilating into his shirt. They sat there for hours, just clinging to each other and crying. Time would not be on their side._  
Two months had gone by since then and Rick kept getting sicker and sicker. Out of desperation he had gone through chemo and radiation, hoping that it would help even though he knew that it was unlikely at this stage, but nothing worked.  
Kate had barely left the man's side since she found out he was dying. When there was so little time they couldn't afford to waste a second of it. Even though she wasn't overly happy about losing her best detective, Gates understood that Kate was going through hell and had given her time off work.  
There was no time. Rick sent his mother and daughter to get some real coffee for themselves and Kate since all they had been drinking for the past two weeks since Castle had been admitted to the hospital was the crappy cafeteria stuff.  
"Kate," he whispered softly, "take care of mother and Alexis for me. They will need you but you'll also need them. Let them take care of you too."  
"Don't talk like that Rick," Kate begged. She wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay, but she knew it wasn't. She wanted to weep and cling to his chest while pleading with him to keep fighting.  
"It'll all be okay Kate." He weakly and shakily wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumb. _They had no time_. "God you're beautiful," he murmured. She choked out his name again be he just smiled softly and reached out to stroke her cheek. "I love you Kate."  
"Rick... I love you so much Rick." She had to close her eyes to attempt to stop more tears from falling; they spilled down her cheeks anyways.  
They had tried so hard to make the time last; the universe had its own ideas. There was no time; there was never enough time.  
She no longer felt his pulse underneath her fingertips and his breath on her skin. Opening her eyes she saw his were closed. They were supposed to have time. More time than this. They were supposed to have always. All of that had been cut short. Letting the grief wash over her, her body wracked with sobs clung to Rick's now lifeless form.  
He was gone.  
Kate was still crying and begging him to come back when Martha and Alexis reentered the room with their coffees. Alexis was the first to break as she flung herself over to the grief stricken detective and clung to her while sobbing violently. Wiping the tears that were now falling down her cheeks, Martha looked at the two women, broken and sobbing over her son's lifeless body.  
In this world people tend to take time for granted. They always think there will be enough time. Too many people know that, that isn't true. That is something Kate Beckett, Martha Rodgers, and Alexis Castle now knew there was never enough of. _Never enough time. _  
The time had run out.  
Their worlds had forever changed.  
They let the tears fall.

* * *

**A/N: Well I'm going to go hide under a blanket and pretend I didn't just kill off Richard Castle. **  
**Don't hate me.**  
**~Rose **


End file.
